A lack of confidence can affect all aspects of your life including building relationships, work, study, applying for a new job or trying something for the first time. When you’re not feeling confident in your ability, you can feel lost, discouraged and even a bit scared. Low confidence can stop us from taking positive risks (like applying for that job you feel is a bit out of your reach) and really affects the way you present yourself. If you don’t feel good about yourself, chances are, you’ll project that.
We’re here to tell you that while these feelings are incredibly common, they don’t have to be permanent. You can build up your confidence with a bit of practice, just like any other skill!
We spoke with Elle Tiganis, a Mindset Coach at EMT Coaching about her top tips for building confidence and overcoming your fears to pursue your passions and live the life you want.
1: Step outside your comfort zone.
Allowing yourself to get comfortable with the unfamiliar and start moving through the feelings of uncertainty and discomfort is the first step. Think of all the things you were once nervous and scared about that you do currently. It was a matter of stepping out of your comfort zone and trying something new that we you were able to find confidence in those things. A great way to start implementing this is to learn something new, it could be a language, an instrument, learning about a new hobby or trying out a new activity or sport.
In giving new things a go, it’s reminding you that anything is achievable and teaches you to develop faith within yourself and your abilities while also helping you to find new potential passions along the way.
2: Stop comparing yourself to others
In this day and age, especially with social media it’s become so easy to take a look at someone else’s life and start comparing it to your own. We tend to put people that we perceive as “perfect” or “confident” on a pedestal. The most important thing to know is that even the most successful person you know, has failed at some point, and have still felt fear and doubt.
Each and every person is on their own unique path in life and has their own unique qualities. There’s no need to compare your life to those around you because they are not you. One of the most powerful things when it comes to building self-confidence is looking within and doing things that YOU want, rather than focusing on the expectations and comparisons of others around you.
3: Show yourself compassion
A lot of people talk about self-confidence and self-love, but they forget that we need self-compassion even more, especially when things don’t go to plan or we make a mistake. Compassion is something we find very easy to show others, but a lot of people struggle to show themselves. When something goes wrong, or we make a mistake it becomes way too easy to go into judgment and shame mode toward ourselves.
In this time, what we need to do is show ourselves compassion by speaking kindly to ourselves, holding ourselves and showing ourselves forgiveness. If this is something you find hard to do, try and look at it from the perspective of talking to a close friend. How would you treat them if they were going through the same thing? What would you say to them?
4: Turn your fear into excitement!
The feeling of fear and excitement have the same physiological response inside of the body, so most of the time that feeling within us just before we do something new or do something important to us is just the feeling of excitement. However, we are so used to associating that feeling in our body as fear, that we label it as being just that.
Once we label something as a fear, our minds go into overdrive and start telling us all the possible negative outcomes or bad things that could happen. As a result, we might not follow through and decide to give up, chalking the situation up as “too risky” or labelling ourselves as “not good enough”.
In these moments, when you first start to notice that feeling within your body, tell yourself: “I am excited.” Label that feeling as excitement because likely that’s all it is. It’s completely normal to be nervous and excited at the same time, especially when it’s about something that has meaning to you. Feel that feeling and do it anyway!
5: Celebrate yourself and build evidence!
In times when you need confidence, it’s typical to tell yourself about all the times you’ve failed, or that something went wrong. As humans, we tend to keep evidence of all the negative events – but forget to remind ourselves of all the positive ones. This is why it’s important to build up that positive evidence.
Try writing down a list of things you have achieved or 3 things that you are grateful for each day and celebrate those things, give yourself some credit! Make sure you take the time to have fun and bring joy to those moments. By doing this, you’re building up proof that you CAN do things and you WILL achieve which in turn, builds up your confidence and self-esteem.
6: Ask for help
Even the most confident people feel scared and nervous at times. Everyone feels some fear before they speak in front of a crowd or before they do something for the first time. The only difference between you and that person is that they took action – even though they were scared.
You don’t have to take the leap alone though; you can always ask for help. The team at Campbell Page are here to help you build your confidence and beyond to find a job (and keep it). If you’re ready to make a change, we’ve got your back.
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We’ve got your back through every step of the job search process. Send us a message and we’ll will be in touch shortly, or better yet, call us now on 1300 139 920
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Image sources: Giphy, emtcoaching